Description:

The Critical Dicks March began in the year 2000 as a natural male response to the glorious annual Critical Tits bike ride , which of course is a take-off on the famous Critical Mass bike ride, which in turn is a pun on the nuclear physics term for the amount of a radioactive substance required to begin spontaneous nuclear fission, which was discovered by a bunch of scientists like Albert Einstein, who, for the most part had DICKS. (OK, Marie Curie was a notable exception, but she was HOT. Talk about a nuclear family!) So ya see, what comes around, goes around.

The Critical Dicks March welcomes all genders: Male, Female, Transsexual, Intersexual, Pansexual, Gay, Bi, Straight, and Bent. However, if you are not naturally blessed with a dick, please bring a long a reasonable fucsimile.

And now, let the testosterone flow! Stand proud and erect as you march through the streets of Black Rock City! Cast of the cruel duds of oppression! You have nothing to lose but your shame!

The parade starts at NOON, on thursday, in front of the man!
This is a MARCHING parade, so please... leave your bikes somewhere else!