Description:

The Critical Dicks March began as a male response to the glorious annual Critical Tits bike ride, which of course is a take-off on the famous Critical Mass bike ride, which in turn is a pun on the nuclear physics term for the amount of a radioactive substance required to begin spontaneous nuclear fission, which was discovered by a bunch of scientists like Albert Einstein, who, for the most part had DICKS. (OK, Marie Curie was a notable exception, but she was HOT. Talk about a nuclear family!) So ya see, what comes around, goes around.

The Critical Dicks March welcomes all genders: Male, Female, Transsexual, Intersexual, Pansexual, Gay, Bi, Straight, and Bent. However, if you are not naturally blessed with a dick, please bring a long a reasonable fucsimile.

And now, let the testosterone flow! Stand proud and erect as you march through the streets of Black Rock City! Cast of the cruel duds of oppression! You have nothing to lose but your shame!

The Critical Dicks March has a long history, and is best pulled off in protest fashion, so now is the time to stand up tall and demand equal rights for your Dick!!!