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THE BRITISH ARE INVADING!!! AAAAAARRGH! Don’t try to fight it – join in! And roll-up, roll-up for the Mad Hatter’s Teddy Bear Picnic…

Calling all Teddy Bears, Teddy Bares, Mad Hatters and assorted Great British & Non-British Eccentrics:

Because only Mad Dogs & Englishmen are out in the midday sun, come and join us on Friday, 31st August from 2.30 pm for a picnic afternoon tea all set to some jolly good tunes brought to you from Dave’s Disco, Lexi Fey, The Prince of Rinse and other guest DJs to be announced.

Expect copious amounts of Pimms and tea which MUST be drunk with pinkie akimbo to wash down that oh so refined of all British morsels – the cucumber sandwich! Along with assorted other high-tea culinary delights to wrap your stiff upper lip around.

All will be wowed with a cornucopia of amusements in the original British game show “Crystal Tipps’ Maze”. There will be gifts for winners & forfeits for runners-up! (Draws will be decided with tickleathons & thumb wars).

Crystal Tipps’ Maze is a group game to be played in teams. Challenges will be physical, mental, environmental, sensual & luck-based. The game will comprise five rounds – the exact content of the rounds will be decided on the day but will be chosen from those published below:

1. Village fete – apple bobbing, hoops horseshoe throwing, hook-a-duck, tom bola, raffle, lucky dip,

2. Parlour games - Pin the tail on the donkey, playing cards, titillating tiddlywinks, twisted twister, thumb wars, tickleathon

3. Lawn games – think badminton, croquet and lawn bowls…with a twist

4. School sports day – rounders, sack racing, three-legged races, egg-and-spoon races

5. Pub games – Totopoly, Great British pub quiz, binge-drink bingo, goggles darts, playing card darts, tongue darts (oh no! that’s something else entirely ;-) maybe a prize?)

If you go out in the woods today You're sure of a big surprise!